March 30, 1932
My beloved Pinchas!
Again I am in the mood of writing in english. God help you — you will need his help when you will marry me with my moods. You still have time beloved one — think it over.
All this afternoon I was so happy my heart sang within me — I felt like a rose trying to open up — to show her leaves to the world. I bathed in the sunshine I walked humming a tune to myself — I stopped to talk with children. I listened to the murmur of the water — over the bridge — to the gossiping of the birds — a little bird flw by caught a piece of bread in its mouth and flew off. I was happy I read — I dreamt — of you of our future — I thought of our restlessness — our moods — our understanding — our love — our friendship — our work. And I smiled — wondered how long this mood will keep up. I am still happy — although my heart is heavier, it is because it is night — darkness — and I love sunshine — darkness depresses me so.
But I have you beloved one to dream of — think of, and I cuddle up in my bed with the thought.
It is a great wonder that I do not go crazy with loneliness here. I think I shall get myself a “Gigolo” what do you think of the idea — there are so many of them around here and it is quite the proper thing here in Reno, they are rented out from five dollars up — by the day.
There is really no danger for me — in getting one — as I am only a poor girl and cannot afford one.
I have just finished eating and have no idea what I will do with myself — I might take a walk to the station and mail this letter to you — and then I shall wait for your letter, I might play cards. I do not know.
How is your cold Beloved one? — please take care of yourself — if not for your own sake — for mine. We do want to be healthy now — we do want to live — for we do have each other to live for.
How good it is to know that your parents do like me. It makes it easier to go on — so very few have any love or respect for me now — I hate to think how our names are chewed by everyone’s mouth. Did you find out the real reason of Irving and Rosalee’s divorce?
Have you sent me out your picture yet — how I want to look at you. You know dearest Pinchas I do believe that I begin to fall in Love with you — be on your guard young man — remember I am warning you as a friend — and I am no bargain my friend — just a commotion of — thoughts — moods — restlessness — I am quite in earnest when I say God help you.
Good night Pinchas Zisinger [?] — wie lieb ich hab dich [how I love you] — und wie goot du bizt [and how good you are]. Altz lenkt in mir nuch dir [everything in me wants you]